The First Phone Conversation

As I journey through the world of dating (including online dating) I am struck by how the simplest tasks are the most daunting. Are men as insecure as women? Do they have minor anxiety attacks when the first call is needed to be made?

I have recently been tasked with the "give me a ring sometime". First reaction. Shit. How did this happen to me? Then the negotiations began. I needed to outline the when and how the call would take place. At this point I am thinking I am a total control freak and need to snap out of it. But how do you call up someone who you only know their first name and they only know yours...and to make matters worse we both have extremely common names. So the "Hey John, it's Kathy" does not fly. He could know four other Kathy's or derivations of the name Katherine. And we didn't exchange last names. I certainly do not need a stalker or like the guy who somehow found meon facebook.

So the other night is when I agreed would be the night of the phone call. As I was wrapping up one last review, I was convincing myself it was no big deal to call this person. Needless to say I needed to pace around the entire office floor as I talked to remove the nervousness from my voice during the conversation.

I am glad to report it was fine. I was psyching myself out for no reason what so ever. And even knowing it will be fine, I will still have anxiety in the future with the first conversations and phone calls.

LOL Speak

LOL speak is not appropriate for emailing a potential suiter. The person was in his early 30s, okay so english is not his first language but he came to the United States to learn english. He certainly learned the IM speak for the US. I have included an example I recently received below.

hi..!!! well..I liked ur profile...u r pretty beautiful...beautiful smile.. if I have chance, answer me and I can talk more about me.

see u... ( I hope...)

Please. I do not think of myself as a stuck-up bitch but I must comment on the text and included a list of things wrong. I am sure you can list some I have missed.
1. Capitalization is useful when beginning an email.
2. One exclaimation point is enough. Three is a bit much.
3. Periods. I can understand using more than one occasionally but...
4. Please show me you have some self confidence and not needy. No one wants a needy man.

Stay tuned!

Death of a Potential Suitor

I am learning the lessons of dating slowly...

Here are a few that have been learned. I am sure there will be more added as I go through this journey.
1. If someone wants to see me they will not wait a month between dates.
2. Don't confuse concern with interest (thanks aaron for this gem).
3. NEVER meet for more than a drink (thank you everyone for not enforcing this one).
4. There are going to be more bad than good.
5. someone who has 420 in their screen/user name...please don't apply!

To be continued

The Nachos

I go into every meeting with an open mind...I swear. I was told to limit first meeting to coffee...to make escaping easier. I threw caution to the wind and agreed to pub trivia night! A commitment of at least 2 hours (for those who have not participated in this usually wonderful Tuesday Event). I made the trek through the tunnel and met the prospective suitor (after hunting for a place to park for 10 minutes - no parking chi which probably should have clued me to the evening). So I finally get into the bar/pub and make my way to the room set aside for the trivia (yes a separate room).

He first inspects to make sure I am wearing high heels...seriously! I am starving and in need of a beverage. And he is amazed that I drink beer! but this is not the important part of the evening. The nachos. I am told I am a picky eating...all those people can suck it! Nachos were ordered with everything on the side! yes everything but the cheese! No joke. How is this considered NAchos? I was amazed! Needless to say, I was told how smart I am and blah blah blah.

When someone says new york I assume new york not new jersey. Not being from the east I don't see why someone would NOT make the distinction, they are two different states. So many questions!

Side question: Why is it that when a girl is with another guy they check us out but when alone we are lepers?